in my head

i want to give up. i think about it a lot. death often seems comforting. i want to slice my skin. i'm bipolar on how i feel about myself. i hate this. i am too in love. i hate my job. i am scared of having to work my whole life. i want someone to spoil me and treat me like a princess. i had a terrible day. no one takes me seriously. i know people only put up with me. all i wanted was him. i'll only ever be second at best. i'm so pathetic i'll probably never change that fact. i'm tired of lying. i want it to be truth. i have doubt. i hate myself. all i want is to be happy. with him. i cant stop crying. i dont think he cares. im too annoying. if i didnt have him. id seriously consider giving up. im so fucking dramatic i cant stand myself. i wish i couldnt feel.