It's almost disgusting how badly you can need a person. like oxygen. you need them to survive. and it beyond painful when you cant have them near you.
I cant stand not having him near. I fought harder than I've ever fought to get him. and waited so long. I hate sharing. Every day I count the hours and minutes until i get to see him. even though most of the time its nothing anyone but me could call special. I dont care so long as I am with him.
It breaks my heart sometimes. the way he can just walk away and be fine. how distracted he can be. how easily I seem to be forgotten. but I dont know. things are often unspoken of so left hazy when it comes to matters of the heart.
I hate that I need him. That my heart breaks because he doesnt seem to need me like I need him. I disgust myself sometimes.
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